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Citation:   Peacefull Stranger. "Appreciate: An Experience with Kava (ID 20440)". Erowid.org. Dec 9, 2005. erowid.org/exp/20440

I have found very few good reports on kava and so I thought that since I have been drinking and feeling the effects of this holy herb recently (It is not a placebo) I should put one of my most enlightening experiences down.

This was the fifth time I had used Kava. It is most definately true that I probably did not feel anything except a slight placebo effect on the first 3-4 times. I obtain my kava (Waka grade) from a well known hawain company operating out of Kaui.

As I say this was my fifth time. I mixed 3 tbsp ground waka grade kava root (health store stuff is poor grade and fiddly) into 1/2 pint freshly made hemp milk (You could use any milk-almond, soy, cow) I then put a tablespoon of organic hot chocolate powder and a 1 tbsp of granular lecithin (this dissolves the oil not water soluble kavalactones) in and blended on high speed for 2 minutes. This was drunk over the course of 1 hr starting at about 6:30pm on an empty stomach. The taste is not a bad as they say when prepared like this but it does begin to grate on me after a while. Upon the second sip my mouth started to go numb and a strange detached peace (very subtle) crept up on me. Normally things like my dad shouting (Normally at the computer which he has a particularly short temper with, I am 20 yrs old and had come home for summer) disturb me but this time when he started (about half an hour into it) I felt detached from it, seeing it in proper perspective, knowing that he wasnt shouting at me and that feeling bad about it would only double the amount of grief involved. He stopped and went to work after about another half an hour just as I had finished the drink. I layed out on my bed and smothered myself in blankets, as I was chilled to the bone (This was on account of the central heating breaking down I think and not the kava).

As I slowly warmed up I felt a stonger wave of peace wash over me, like the feeling of being gently tossed about in a warm ocean. I felt that there was a warmth inside me, deep inside, my spirit in fact, that even a chest freezer wouldnt chill. I felt that I could control this warmth, that I could make it crackle and roar inside me so much that it began warming me from the inside. It made me think intensly about all the thing that make me feel good and warm, the things that make my spirit glow, running my fingers through my girlfriends silky black hair, drinking hot chocolate and the smells of vanilla and jasmine, of roasted coffee and whisky, of hugging someone I really love and........ O shit!! Was that the door?? My senses came flooding back and I found myself lost in my glowing little reverie under the 3 duvets, I look at the little clock beside my bed, 8:20pm!! Time had really flown. I leapt out of bed and rushed to the door, no one there. In retrospect I beleive that it was a mild auditory hallucination like the kind I get when I put on music really loud and I'm afraid of missing the doorbell or the phone ringing and so I keep on thinking I hear them.

I went and crawled under the duvets again. I focused on the warmth in a kind of meditational way and thought about how stupid it is getting mixed up in mind games, getting your own back, feeling resentful towards people because they own a brand new jag and have plenty of money, staying in relationships that are 'going ok'........ Lifes too short!! That saying took on a real meaning for me, I really 'felt' it instead of just thinking over the words and conceptually understanding it, I understood that my life, and everyone's I cared about could be gone in an instant, and I remembered what David Blaine said before going up that pole for his 'Vertigo Challenge' 'Always be amazed by everything. Appreciate everything. Appreciate your mother. Talk to her. Thats the one thing I wish I could go back and do again. Appreciate the things that are in front of you, because you never know when they'll be gone' I had the urge to talk to my mum, how would I feel about the last few days I had with her if she died tommorow, not very happy, I was certain of that, I would kick myself in the butt over and over again for the rest of my life if she died and I hadnt cherished the time I had with her.

I got up, went down stairs sat down next to her gave her a big hug and told her that I loved her, my heart glowed, hers glowed, I knew now that I would truly be happy with the time I had spent with her and vowed to myself that no matter what, whenever I got the chance to I would talk to her and cherish her until the moment she died. I spent the rest of the evening feeling intensly happy, I think the 'drug' had worn off but I was glowingly happy that this lesson had been passed on to me while I still had the chance to talk to my mother, girlfreind, dad ... All the people I might not be able to in a day, week, month or years time.

To kava I am genuinely grateful for this lesson. Overdoses, bad trips and such come on a large part from having a lack of respect and ritual for them.

Peace, love, good trips and prosperity to all

Peacefull Stranger